tmttactical
A True Doomsday Prepper
Sorry for your loss Ghost. It is NEVER easy. My best wishes for you and your family.
I don’t know much about what he was dealing with, but at least he is at peace now.
I almost think it's something in the genes. As you may know, he's my stepson, though I never saw the difference. But, his grandfather committed suicide at 24. His dad at 25. He was 23. That's just too much of a coincidence for me.
Thing is, even at his happiest moments, he had just convinced himself of his depression, so there was really no way he was ever going to really overcome it (I think). Even in counseling, he'd simply tell them what he thought they wanted to hear.
The stages of this are SO weird. Obviously, the hurt and pain, but anger, confusion, and then guilt when something makes you laugh, as if you're not "permitted" too, because of this. Words just fail to explain it for anyone else. I don't know how.
I’ve read that when someone in a family commits suicide that others are many times more likely too. I don’t know if it’s genetic or just a learned association. Either way, it’s sad to waste a young life, and worse on the ones close to them. Life can be tough at times, but also wonderful at others. I wish the best for you and your family as you learn to deal with this.I almost think it's something in the genes. As you may know, he's my stepson, though I never saw the difference. But, his grandfather committed suicide at 24. His dad at 25. He was 23. That's just too much of a coincidence for me.
Thing is, even at his happiest moments, he had just convinced himself of his depression, so there was really no way he was ever going to really overcome it (I think). Even in counseling, he'd simply tell them what he thought they wanted to hear.
The stages of this are SO weird. Obviously, the hurt and pain, but anger, confusion, and then guilt when something makes you laugh, as if you're not "permitted" too, because of this. Words just fail to explain it for anyone else. I don't know how.
Sorry for your loss too GG. The more you love the worse it hurts. Take care.I suffered a recent loss myself,my only sister passed about 2 weeks ago,,I somewhat know the pain you are dealing with,,,,,take as much time as you need
It isn't weird. It's normal, don't worry about what you think you should be feeling. Just go with it and don't worry about what other peoples perceptions are. When my grandfather died we all went to Grandmas after the funeral to eat had a good ole time, telling jokes and acting silly, it helped my mother and grandma a lot. Grandpa would have loved that. I did not feel guilty for feeling good, it was an honor to him in a way. you'll go through a lot of emotions that may seem odd or come at odd times. A balance will come. So sorry you and your family have to struggle through this crazy and sad process.I almost think it's something in the genes. As you may know, he's my stepson, though I never saw the difference. But, his grandfather committed suicide at 24. His dad at 25. He was 23. That's just too much of a coincidence for me.
Thing is, even at his happiest moments, he had just convinced himself of his depression, so there was really no way he was ever going to really overcome it (I think). Even in counseling, he'd simply tell them what he thought they wanted to hear.
The stages of this are SO weird. Obviously, the hurt and pain, but anger, confusion, and then guilt when something makes you laugh, as if you're not "permitted" too, because of this. Words just fail to explain it for anyone else. I don't know how.
It could certainly be genetic, in that the cause of clinical depression has to do with brain chemistry. So little is understood about clinical depression, even today. Such a disorder has nothing to do with his choices. It is a disorder that can be often treated but the treatment is slow. If one medicine doesn't work, there others to try but the problem is, it can take weeks to determine if that medicine will work.I almost think it's something in the genes. As you may know, he's my stepson, though I never saw the difference. But, his grandfather committed suicide at 24. His dad at 25. He was 23. That's just too much of a coincidence for me.
Thing is, even at his happiest moments, he had just convinced himself of his depression, so there was really no way he was ever going to really overcome it (I think). Even in counseling, he'd simply tell them what he thought they wanted to hear.
How are you hanging in there Gaz? Thinking about you bud!
I really do wish you the best through all of this. I just hope you and your wife can find some peace eventually.Thanks Brent.
We're hanging in there. Went back to the house last night, first time since it all happened (been staying with friends, and in hotels, with me going back periodically to feed the animals). Most of his friends and other family are a city away, so we're doing most tasks in the city. (so easier to stay there that first week).
Both of us are just going back to work. It's a welcome distraction (and a lot to catch up on). This whole thing has just torn our family apart, and it will take time to stitch it back.
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