...on kindness & helping others...

[toexist]

Everyone has their own unique experiences in life. We all have ups, downs and occasional curveballs thrown at us. I always for some odd reason was able to make good loyal friends. When I was younger I couldn't figure out why. Naturally as I got little older i became busier due to work and i got burned a few times. I began to invest less time in meeting new people and maintaining friendships. With time some people just fade away.

I've come to realize that as you get older most people tend to take less risks & invest less time in "new" people unless it's work related. Maybe this is just my own unique experience.

For a moment think about the hand full of people (if you're lucky) whom you trust. There was a time when that person was just another dude. At some point one of you went out of your way for the other (surprisingly) thus forming/solidifying trust & friendship.

My thought is you cannot continue to form trusting relationships with new people if you cease to take the risk in investing time in people. Many people will disappoint you but every now and then...you will be surprised.

Just a thought.

 

[user 6493]

2 times over the years I have taken people into my home who desperately needed help,,,,both times in the end it has cost me a good bit of money,,,would I do it again,,,,,,,,,,maybe,,,,do I regret the times it has cost me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no,no regrets

 

[toexist]

I used be willing to go out of my way for damn near anyone. Over time I realized that not as many people would go out of their way for me. Instead of focusing on the few people who were, I began to focus on the people who weren't.

Kudos to you for taking the risk. To me if you sincerely help someone you don't think of the return. My problem was that I began to question whether or not people would do the same for me. That is when I began to go out of my way less and as a result form/maintain less friendships.

 

[Mountain trapper]

Over the years I've helped many people. I used to be in a position to get people jobs. Some of these jobs paid six figures. There has been some great succeses, but the help has backfired too many times to count too. Most people create their own misfortune and deserve what they get. Now days my generosity is only for family and one or two good friends.

 

[lonewolf]

sorry I don't trust anyone, I am naturally suspicious and wary of anyone taking an interest in me or what I have.
over a long and varied life I have been let down and in some cases been mentally abused by some. I can get on with most people but given the choice I prefer to be alone, I like animals more than I like people.
this is now, post SHTF this will be multiplied many times over.

 

[toexist]

Over the years I've helped many people. I used to be in a position to get people jobs. Some of these jobs paid six figures. There has been some great succeses, but the help has backfired too many times to count too. Most people create their own misfortune and deserve what they get. Now days my generosity is only for family and one or two good friends.

Most people probably fall into your category...which I understand.

 

[toexist]

sorry I don't trust anyone, I am naturally suspicious and wary of anyone taking an interest in me or what I have.
over a long and varied life I have been let down and in some cases been mentally abused by some. I can get on with most people but given the choice I prefer to be alone, I like animals more than I like people.
this is now, post SHTF this will be multiplied many times over.

I understand this philosophy. The irony is because of this mindset it becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. I just believe it is in most peoples nature to be social and kind. The problem is most will only act this way in response to others kindness.

Nobody wants to invest in anything or anyone if they know there will be no return or even worse...exploitation.

In a hypothetical SHTF situation I believe it will be quite difficult for people to survive without some sort of community effort. Even a smaller group of loyal people will much more better off than even the most prepared of individuals.

Sounds nice, maybe not as easy or practical as it sounds. I just know I was happier and had more people around when I wasn't as closed off. Maybe it's just the naive mentality of someone in his youth but it's worth a thinking about.

I also know if you risk nothing more often than not you get nothing. Most of us invested a lot of money and resources into material goods. What if we invested a little in people?

 

[user 6493]

a incident can change the way you feel towards people.

I went out of my way once to help a black man and I was robbed right in front of my bank,before this happened I would stop and help anyone ,to this day and it has been 25 years or so,if you are black you are on your own,,,the black race is their own worst enemy

 

[lonewolf]

i don't care what people are, be it colour, race or religion, I just don't trust people full stop.
I was brought up to stand on my own 2 feet and post SHTF if you aint family you aint getting in.

 

[toexist]

a incident can change the way you feel towards people.

I went out of my way once to help a black man and I was robbed right in front of my bank,before this happened I would stop and help anyone ,to this day and it has been 25 years or so,if you are black you are on your own,,,the black race is their own worst enemy

Makes sense however what if you had been robbed by another white dude...would you not trust anyone who is white? I've been burned by all kinds of people. It's easy to classify people you don't like in groups. Majority of mass shooters and serial killers have been upper middle class caucasian. Bad people come in all shades.

With that bring said you're right..incidents do change people's way of thinking.

 

[toexist]

i don't care what people are, be it colour, race or religion, I just don't trust people full stop.
I was brought up to stand on my own 2 feet and post SHTF if you aint family you aint getting in.

Naturally most people endorse this way of thinking.

 

[user 6493]

Makes sense however what if you had been robbed by another white dude...would you not trust anyone who is white? I've been burned by all kinds of people. It's easy to classify people you don't like in groups. Majority of mass shooters and serial killers have been upper middle class caucasian. Bad people come in all shades.

With that bring said you're right..incidents do change people's way of thinking.

if it had been a white,from then on out if I didn't know them ,they would be on their own,,,,why take the chance on a stranger

 

[lonewolf]

post SHTF my motto is, Stranger= Danger!!

 

[Brent S]

I think life is richer when shared with others. Yes, people can and will let you down. That's just part of it. But without trying to trust some you will miss out on those few that are worth it.

 

[lonewolf]

I don't want to take that chance, I was brought up alone and i'm better off alone, I prefer being alone, I don't trust people and I never will, especially outsiders.

 

[Brent S]

I don't want to take that chance, I was brought up alone and i'm better off alone, I prefer being alone, I don't trust people and I never will, especially outsiders.

There are some things in life that are better when shared with another person. Sex tops the list.....

 

[lonewolf]

dosent bother me, I can take it or leave it, when you've had as many marriages(3) and relationships(many) your glad of the rest!
and I can do without the earache.

 

[Brent S]

dosent bother me, I can take it or leave it, when you've had as many marriages(3) and relationships(many) your glad of the rest!
and I can do without the earache.

Lol

 

[toexist]

I don't want to take that chance, I was brought up alone and i'm better off alone, I prefer being alone, I don't trust people and I never will, especially outsiders.

I'm sure one trait everyone on this forum has in common is being cautious. Some of us more than others. Nothing wrong with being cautious. The only problem is as humans we're inherently social. Prolonged isolation would be quite difficult.

Let us not forget Wilson from Cast Away!!!

 

[lonewolf]

humans might be social, I am not. I've never been what you might call gregarious, I much prefer to be alone or with animals than be with other people. permanent social isolation would be nirvana to me ..especially post SHTF, I don't want to know other peoples problems.
granted most people like you say NEED to be around others, but that will be their undoing.
many people will be left on their own post SHTF through no fault of there own, if they cannot survive alone even temporarily until they can link up with others, which on its own will be fraught with danger, then they wont be around for long.

 

[Mountain trapper]

Now days I make it a policy to only help those that help themselves. It's a safe policy because anyone that truly trys, won't need my help.

 

[Mountain trapper]

.

 

[toexist]

humans might be social, I am not. I've never been what you might call gregarious, I much prefer to be alone or with animals than be with other people. permanent social isolation would be nirvana to me ..especially post SHTF, I don't want to know other peoples problems.
granted most people like you say NEED to be around others, but that will be their undoing.
many people will be left on their own post SHTF through no fault of there own, if they cannot survive alone even temporarily until they can link up with others, which on its own will be fraught with danger, then they wont be around for long.

In a hypothetical SHTF situation if a larger group of "bad" people want your stuff bad enough (as in theyre desperate enough) and you're alone...chances are not stacked in your favor.

Case in point...look at all the 3rd world countries to which we lost elite soldiers in. There are many examples/incidents were lesser trained & equipped poor people from 3rd world countries have taken out superior soldiers with superior experience due to power in numbers.

 

[Brent S]

humans might be social, I am not. I've never been what you might call gregarious, I much prefer to be alone or with animals than be with other people. permanent social isolation would be nirvana to me ..especially post SHTF, I don't want to know other peoples problems.
granted most people like you say NEED to be around others, but that will be their undoing.
many people will be left on their own post SHTF through no fault of there own, if they cannot survive alone even temporarily until they can link up with others, which on its own will be fraught with danger, then they wont be around for long.

And yet here you are, interacting socially. You might act like a cantankerous old buzzard, but there's hope for you yet!

 

[lonewolf]

And yet here you are, interacting socially. You might act like a cantankerous old buzzard, but there's hope for you yet!

i'm just putting my opinion, is all, based on a lifetimes experience, especially of other people, having been let down numerous times by other people i'm not in a mood to have anything to do with them especially post SHTF.
I live in an area which is lightly populated, North Devon has LESS than 10% of the population of Devon as a whole, and most people outside of this area would refer to it as remote if not isolated.

 

[Dani]

I get enough face to face socializing with my hunny and family when they come for a visit. I talk with my four legged critters all day long. Best part is that they love me unconditionally & normally do what I need them to without any back talk . I do not invite strangers into my home. We have helped out some with the rent property and every time have gotten burned and made a lot of extra work for us & cost us a lot of money that we could have actually used. For a majority, they want a hand out not a helping hand!

 

[Brent S]

I get enough face to face socializing with my hunny and family when they come for a visit. I talk with my four legged critters all day long. Best part is that they love me unconditionally & normally do what I need them to without any back talk . I do not invite strangers into my home. We have helped out some with the rent property and every time have gotten burned and made a lot of extra work for us & cost us a lot of money that we could have actually used. For a majority, they want a hand out not a helping hand!

There are a lot of really rotten people in the world. But every once in a while you find a good one.

 

[DrHenley]

I can understand where bigpaul is coming from. The more remote you are, the more difficult it is to find people to talk to about shared interests. It is very likely that nobody near him is interested in discussing things that he is interested in. Here on this forum there are *somewhat* like minded people that actually care about his ideas about preparedness and value his experience.

I am not in a remote location, in fact I am in the dead center of a city. Yet I still have trouble finding like minded people to talk to locally. I can only imagine how difficult that is where bigpaul lives.

 

[lonewolf]

I can understand where bigpaul is coming from. The more remote you are, the more difficult it is to find people to talk to about shared interests. It is very likely that nobody near him is interested in discussing things that he is interested in. Here on this forum there are *somewhat* like minded people that actually care about his ideas about preparedness and value his experience.

I am not in a remote location, in fact I am in the dead center of a city. Yet I still have trouble finding like minded people to talk to locally. I can only imagine how difficult that is where bigpaul lives.

the people here are friendly enough and as we have been here for 8 years now we are "part of the furniture", but I really don't have anything in common with anyone.