New and Scared

[David W. Harrison]

Some good advice here, though I don't agree with it all. To me a revolver is just plain easier to handle and keep maintained. Semi autos have too much to go wrong in them for a novice to have to deal with in an already stressful situation. And 9mm in the RIGHT hands may be a good round, but in an untrained hand of a novice....not so much. Too many people have walked thru a 9mm just to take the gun away and kill the weilder of it.

DEFINATELY GET TRAINING!! Training trumps gear every time. It sucks to have something you KNOW can save your life but you don't know how to use it. It is money WELL spent.

My personal .357 is a Taurus tracker I bought new for 300$ 2 years ago. 7 rounds and it came factory ported. Being ported means it barely kicks at all, it handles full .357 loads like they were light .38, hardly kicks at all. And I can put all 7 into a nice handsized group at 35 yards. Couple of speeloaders so you can reload it faster and all is good. Too bad these guns are like 450-500$ now. I wish I had 3 more of them.

My wife is 5-4 ish and ...overweight. She is a school teacher of 28 years now. She has MAYBE 2000 rounds of shooting experience now. Her carry pistol (We both have our carry permits) is the Sig Sauer 1911 c3 model. It shoots the .45 round and she handles it beautifully. She loves the weapon and she is very good with it. SO I recommend you go to a range that lets you rent guns, some of these ranges have ladies night where you buy the ammo and the rental is free. Try out SEVERAL and go with what feels good to you!

Even a well placed .22 can stop a person. But the lighter the round the better you will have to be to make it effective.

Practice
Practice
Practice

 

[Lindy]

I rely on God every day of my life and he has NEVER let me down. I rely on his council and guidance. HE tells me what to do and I do the work. Even if it means stocking up or pulling the trigger when the time comes. All too often people think God will do it for you. This is incorrect. God WANTS you to do the work, he will guide you in doing it. Yes he does miracles, however the more you do for yourself the less he has to do for you. And he wont do for you what you aren't willing to do for yourself (unless it is part of his plan).

SO, all that being said, I suggest you start out simple. A little extra groceries, maybe suggest the family take up camping? Camping is a good reason to buy some gear. You can take yourself to a gunstore or range and get shooting lessons.

Mr. Harrison, I rely on God every day and He never lets us down either. My struggle is that my husband thinks I over react and this has been a sorce of tension for years. God tells us in His Word that my husband is the head of the household. I'm not sure what he would think if he knew I was doing this. I am on disability right now and I am trying to do this computer stuff without his help. I'm not even sure if I am doing this correctly. I have tried some of your suggestions you gave (camping etc. ) He HATES to camp) We have so many of my medical bills, we are helping our three grown children with student loan payments and we are both churchworkers so our finacial resources are very limited.

 

[David W. Harrison]

Ok, if we are to follow gods word.. Which my wife and and I try to do very much. Let us examine the scriptures that are meaningful in this situation.

Titus 2: 1-6 is what I think we all try to live up to.
Titus 2;1-6 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. 3 The aged women likewise that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good thins. 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. 5 To be discreet, chaste, KEEPERS OF HOME, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Now this shows us how we are to be with each other in the home. BUT it also tells us the home is the WOMANS place to rule over. It means that things pertaining to the home is the womans duty to take care of.

Eph 5; 21-26
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This shows in Gods eye how the woman is to act to the man, but wait. there is more.

1Peter 3:1-7

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

To me these pretty well explain it. Yes men are supposed to be the head of the wife as god is the head of man. BUT the woman is the head of the household! And they must respect each other as such. Its a hard pill to swallow in this day and age, but you can read it yourself. If your a Christian then it is simple.

I would say respect your husband, however maintain your household as you see fit to do so.

God bless.

 

[Clyde]

Mr. Harrison, I rely on God every day and He never lets us down either. My struggle is that my husband thinks I over react and this has been a sorce of tension for years. God tells us in His Word that my husband is the head of the household. I'm not sure what he would think if he knew I was doing this. I am on disability right now and I am trying to do this computer stuff without his help. I'm not even sure if I am doing this correctly. I have tried some of your suggestions you gave (camping etc. ) He HATES to camp) We have so many of my medical bills, we are helping our three grown children with student loan payments and we are both churchworkers so our finacial resources are very limited.

Ok hears how I view the whole Husband is the head of the household... He maybe head of the household, but he is not be a dictator of the house.

I am sure I will catch flack for my next comment....

Maybe prep only for yourself. I know this may sound harsh, and like it is in contradiction to the commandments of the Bible, but at some point you have to look out for number one.

 

[sjeanine]

Looks like your husband doesn't really believe in God. If he did he would have read about what is comming in Matt:24. It is like Noah. God told him there was going to be a flood. Noah had to build the ark(God didn't build it for him) just like He will not prep for us. God is letting his people know that it is time to get ready. How is your son on prepping? I have a 13yr old daughter and she hepls me with prepping. She is also learning to shoot, so she can defend her self, if Im not here. Im willing to help you in any way I can. You can go to youtube and find out alot about prepping and there are alot of people here that are willing to help.

Thank you so much! My husband lives for today and doesnt want to be bothered with tomorrow...yeah, it's hard...My son, on the other hand is very excited about helping prep and he helped me pick everything out that we have so far. We are planning on getting some gun training together as soon as my FOID card comes in. We are also working on a safe room in our home...sons idea...where we will store everything we get. I'm hoping to find a dehydrator soon that I can afford and we're going to start collecting racks to put in our safe/storage room to put things on.

 

[sjeanine]

Forget the .38..please. If you want a handgun with stopping power then go with a .357. Nice thing about a .357 is you can ALSO fire .38 ammo out of it just fine. This is nice for target practice as .38 ammo is cheaper. But before you buy a handgun I would grab a .22 first if it were me. You can buy a semi auto .22 for 110$. Marlin is the company I think that makes it. And if you shop around at pawn shops and other stores you can find some good deals on a nice little rifle.

Ok, thank you! Will start looking for a .22 first when I get my card in...was told about 3 mths. ; ) I'll have a look at the .357 too!

 

[sjeanine]

Read your post. You are on the right track. Anything you can think of that will help you survive is good. As for weapons: a 22 will work, but look into a 9mm. Ruger has some for a little over $250.00. If you get a 22 or 9mm also get hallow points for defense. I've been in Law Enforcement for most of my life. Also a .38 will be a revolver and only hold 6 rounds, where as a 9mm can hold up to 15 rounds. Seems like you will be own your own when TSHTF. Don't expect help from your husband if he is not willing to help you prep. I wish you all the luck in the world.

9mm Ruger...will check this out this weekend, along with others...cant buy anything til I get my foid card though...{{{sigh}}}
I know...(about husband) He thinks I'm nuts for doing any of this and is just ignoring it all...

 

[sjeanine]

I think we've touched on a couple good points, and ARMY127 has some solid advice. I've been a competitive shooter, gunsmith, and an instructor for nearly my entire adult life. The revo IS king for new shooters and lots of others, like those who don't like or want to practice but understand the firearm is a tool. They're good for weak(Literally) people if you fit the caliber to them. They're good for disabled shooters or people with arthritis.

357 MAGNUM..... Just hear that...... MAGNUM.... You can fire 38s out of it, but CLEAN YOUR CHAMBERS in the cylinder. If you shoot much you absolutely can get a ring of build-up that will cause pressure problems. This is NOT a myth.

22 or a 38 is better than nothing... Take that for what it's worth. My wife is 4'11. She is as small as the good Lord has made 'em, but just as willing and able because she understands that women aren't LESSER people, but DIFFERENT people. She has learned to use the differences in her body to master our guns from a shotgun to an AR-15 to a 1911 and of course our 9mm GLOCKs.. She is dedicated though. Even if you're not, you can get proficient. Dry-fire practice is a good idea that will help your skill without breaking the bank(So will practicing with an air gun!) Don't buy a gun because it's cheap. Don't buy a gun based solely on it's caliber, either. Find something that fits you, is within your abilities or what abilities you will have in the near future. Anyone can "Grow" into a Desert Eagle 5oAE, but it's not wise. Find a gun that is low maintenance, like a revolver, or some of the semi-autos that are easier to take down and clean. GLOCKs, 1911s, Browning Hi Powers are great guns, but those aren't all that's out there, of course. Ask the dealer to show you how to "Field strip" the gun, or look on youtube so you can know how to do it. Most revolvers don't need to be field stripped to clean unlike semi-sutos.

Lastly and perhaps most importantly, DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR PARTNER. Understand that almost ALL of us have SO's that aren't into prepping at first. One of the members of a family starts it out and other members come along as they go. You may have to take point and be a leader if TSHTF, but you will prepare yourself for that, too. I can assure you, especially being that you are in IL, that your husband is an ASSET, not a LIABILITY. You and a son running from who knows what is not a really good idea. The more adults you can have in your party that you trust, the better. This man has been close to you for some time. Trust me on this, please. He may think it's unnecessary, but that's because it hasn't happened yet. If something bad comes along, he is going to want the best for your whole family. Only you would know otherwise, really. If you DO know otherwise, take action as soon as possible, because that IS a liability if someone would sacrifice you and your boy to the hounds. I doubt that's the case though or you wouldn't be as concerned as you are. This being the case, follow your heart. Keep prepping, save up and get yourself a gun and some ammo AND SOME TRAINING. Keep working and thinking of how you're going to take control when SHTF. Good luck and God bless your whole family.

Thank you...thanks to all of you...I'm so happy to be a part of this "preppy family" here! ; )

 

[sjeanine]

Some good advice here, though I don't agree with it all. To me a revolver is just plain easier to handle and keep maintained. Semi autos have too much to go wrong in them for a novice to have to deal with in an already stressful situation. And 9mm in the RIGHT hands may be a good round, but in an untrained hand of a novice....not so much. Too many people have walked thru a 9mm just to take the gun away and kill the weilder of it.

DEFINATELY GET TRAINING!! Training trumps gear every time. It sucks to have something you KNOW can save your life but you don't know how to use it. It is money WELL spent.

My personal .357 is a Taurus tracker I bought new for 300$ 2 years ago. 7 rounds and it came factory ported. Being ported means it barely kicks at all, it handles full .357 loads like they were light .38, hardly kicks at all. And I can put all 7 into a nice handsized group at 35 yards. Couple of speeloaders so you can reload it faster and all is good. Too bad these guns are like 450-500$ now. I wish I had 3 more of them.

My wife is 5-4 ish and ...overweight. She is a school teacher of 28 years now. She has MAYBE 2000 rounds of shooting experience now. Her carry pistol (We both have our carry permits) is the Sig Sauer 1911 c3 model. It shoots the .45 round and she handles it beautifully. She loves the weapon and she is very good with it. SO I recommend you go to a range that lets you rent guns, some of these ranges have ladies night where you buy the ammo and the rental is free. Try out SEVERAL and go with what feels good to you!

Even a well placed .22 can stop a person. But the lighter the round the better you will have to be to make it effective.

Practice
Practice
Practice

Thank you....I will heed your advice...taking all this in and def getting practice, training and I know I have to be able to hold the gun, whichever I get, comfortably and be able to use it properly...so, will train first before actually buying my own, for sure.

 

[sjeanine]

I saw one of the replys on your water. I found a better way than bleach. It is Pool Shock. You put two tsp per 5 gal. Pool Shock doesn't have all the bad additives that bleach has. Also try to keep your water out of the sunlight. Hope this helps. If you didn't live so far from La., we would make a place for you and your son when TSHTF. Good Luck.

Awww...thanks so much!

 

[sjeanine]

Good morning Kiddo. How are you doing this morning? Hope you are finding the help you need. If you have any questions, dont worry about asking. Someone out here will help you. We are all on your side. Although we are not next to you, we are still by your side. I know that it is scarry for you, but you have the guts to start prepping for you and your son. That makes you one hell of a woman. Keep it up and you will make it. Later Gator.

Thank you, thank you so much for your kind words and advice...I am starting to feel you are all "family" to me! Love coming by here often! Been staying busy this past week with my son....trying to build a "safe room" in our basement together. He wants to put in a secret door to it...not sure how/if he'll be able to but I'm tryin to help him so we'll see....Have a wonderful weekend.

 

[sjeanine]

Mr. Harrison, I rely on God every day and He never lets us down either. My struggle is that my husband thinks I over react and this has been a sorce of tension for years. God tells us in His Word that my husband is the head of the household. I'm not sure what he would think if he knew I was doing this. I am on disability right now and I am trying to do this computer stuff without his help. I'm not even sure if I am doing this correctly. I have tried some of your suggestions you gave (camping etc. ) He HATES to camp) We have so many of my medical bills, we are helping our three grown children with student loan payments and we are both churchworkers so our finacial resources are very limited.

Totally know where you're coming from Lindy...my dh feels the same about me....We dont have a very good relationship but I'm to old to try and start over and I havent worked a f/t job in years. I also have some arthritis and recently was diagnosed with degenerative back disease. My husband could care less...seriously...we live together but pretty much go our own ways....my love for God and my son keeps me going...

 

[sjeanine]

Ok hears how I view the whole Husband is the head of the household... He maybe head of the household, but he is not be a dictator of the house.

I am sure I will catch flack for my next comment....

Maybe prep only for yourself. I know this may sound harsh, and like it is in contradiction to the commandments of the Bible, but at some point you have to look out for number one.

My husband pretty much lives for himself...honestly, whenever my son or I get sick, he leaves the house...cant stand being around us so we have to try and take care of each other. DH doesnt ever want to do any "family" type things...camping, fishing, picnics, etc...and I've learned to just go with my son anyway.

 

[sjeanine]

Ok, if we are to follow gods word.. Which my wife and and I try to do very much. Let us examine the scriptures that are meaningful in this situation.

Titus 2: 1-6 is what I think we all try to live up to.
Titus 2;1-6 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. 3 The aged women likewise that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good thins. 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. 5 To be discreet, chaste, KEEPERS OF HOME, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Now this shows us how we are to be with each other in the home. BUT it also tells us the home is the WOMANS place to rule over. It means that things pertaining to the home is the womans duty to take care of.

Eph 5; 21-26
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This shows in Gods eye how the woman is to act to the man, but wait. there is more.

1Peter 3:1-7

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

To me these pretty well explain it. Yes men are supposed to be the head of the wife as god is the head of man. BUT the woman is the head of the household! And they must respect each other as such. Its a hard pill to swallow in this day and age, but you can read it yourself. If your a Christian then it is simple.

I would say respect your husband, however maintain your household as you see fit to do so.

God bless.

Thanks....I do try and maintain the household...I do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry...pretty much all the household chores...dh doesnt help. I also homeschool our son by myself....husband doesnt want to help with anything once he comes home from work....even though I've asked in the past....I'm pretty sure dh doesnt care about or for me and son tells me he doesnt feel his dad loves him either so....it's hard to respect a man who is totally into himself and doesnt care at all about his family. We took a trip to FL last summer...with money me and our son saved from our p/t housecleaning that we do together....husband went along but didnt want to go with us to the beach, shopping, etc....just sat in motel room....we walked in on him looking at porn...so sad my son seen him doing that! Ugh! What else can I say.....

 

[sjeanine]

I would definitely go with a semi automatic and not a revolver. The .357 I think would be a bit too much gun for a beginner who has not shot before. The recoil and heavy flash from a .357 revolver can cause flinching, and cause you to anticipate the recoil which would throw you way off target and make follow up shots more difficult. I recommend a .9mm which is more tame in the recoil department, less flash from the firing of the gun, and easier to use for a beginner. Definitely get hollow point ammo as this will increase the stopping power of the gun greatly. There are a lot of 9mm on the market under 500 brand new or you can get a used gun as well. If you go used get it checked out by a gunsmith to make sure everything is good with the weapon. Please ask me any questions you have about guns, handguns, shotguns, or rifles. I will do everything I can to help from a far since I am in NJ. I am a 15 year Army Veteran with 2 tours in Iraq and 9 deployments to the Middle East in the last 12 years. I am also an NRA Instructor for pistol, and Rifle. I was my most recent units armorer before I was Disability retired due to Combat Injuries I received during my 2nd tour. I was also on the ing Team for 2 years. Please ask away and I will help however I can. Good luck and you will definitely find plenty of help on the site with any questions you may have.

When I recently went to a local gun/bait shop near my town I was given a few guns to hold and to try and cock...couldnt get any of them cocked except the 38 {{{sigh}}}...just handguns but still, I must have really week fingers/hands. : (

 

[sjeanine]

To the untrained the revolver is king. And the king caliber for self defense in the revolver class is .357.

My son told me a .357 would most likely knock me down or smack me in the face....He pulled up some youtubes to show me a bunch of women who had one they were trying to fire and how one almost shot herself from the kickback! Dont think I want one of those...lol

 

[David W. Harrison]

Sorry to hear that you let some other folks get you scared already of the .357. The lesson to be learned from the youtube videos is that you a person needs to LEARN the weapon and get proper instruction. Those vids are of people taking a weapon they know nothing about and just blasting away.

If you go with something like a Taurus tracker it is factory ported. This means there are little holes on the top of the barrel near the end of it where the bullet comes out. These holes force pressure upwards as the bullet leaves forcing the barrel to stay down. Whats this mean? LESS KICK and much easier handling.

If we lived closer I would take you and my wife out shooting to show you, but I am in north Dakota.

With a semi auto you have a lot than go wrong and you need magazines for it. Revolver is easier to handle and maintain, and you don't need magazines (though a couple speed loaders are nice to have).

Most modern revolvers are single action and double action. Single action means you pull the hammer back then pull the trigger and BANG. Double action means you just pull the trigger and it cocks the hammer for you then BANG. With a smi auto you better make sure you wrack the slide first so know its loaded and ready to go.

Semi auto do win on the ammo capacity side, but that's about it. The police used to use ONLY revolvers many years ago. When they switched over to Semi autos the average marksmanship of the police went down a LOT. Why? They relied on the ability to just keep shooting till they hit something instead of proper training and marksmanship skills. Why shoot 15 times when it can be done in 1 or 2?

BOTTOM LINE HERE.... go rent some guns in your price range AND out of your price range. Find a store with "Ladies Night" and take advantage of it. Go in there, buy some ammo and ask for help. They want to sell you stuff so they WILL Help if they are worth a crap. Once YOU find the gun YOU like then YOU make the decision. But as a SHTF weapon I do not recommend a pistol unless you also want for EDC right now too. Hit the local gun clubs and outdoor ranges too. Tell them you are new and want to learn. there are always folks who like to meet and educate and help new folks. BUT don't touch any guns unless given permission. AND if anyone lets you shoot offer to pay for ammo...it aint cheap these days.

People WILL help you on the local level, you just gotta go out there and be willing.

 

[realisticdude]

hi sjeanine, in my humble opinion a 22 cal pistol / rifle is your best bet for now until you are more comfortable. you can get a decent gun and plenty ammo for not alot of dough. start with a revoler .Dont be intimidated by the Hi Tech guys. keep it simple.

 

[alabaster]

realisticdude is being totally realistic, dude.....

A 22 that you can hit with is better than anything more powerful that you can't hit with.

This family situation is deeper than I had thought. I think CD is right in that ultimately you have to look out for yourself and your son. If things go south and your husband gets his act together then you will be a HUGE help to him. If not, don't allow yourself to die or suffer for sure. I'm sorry it sounds like this is a really tough situation, but you are clear of mind and pure of heart... You have the best intentions, so keep it up and your son, too.

Maybe he would like to join the site also? Either way, I'm glad you're here.

 

[Mastercajun]

Thank you so much! My husband lives for today and doesnt want to be bothered with tomorrow...yeah, it's hard...My son, on the other hand is very excited about helping prep and he helped me pick everything out that we have so far. We are planning on getting some gun training together as soon as my FOID card comes in. We are also working on a safe room in our home...sons idea...where we will store everything we get. I'm hoping to find a dehydrator soon that I can afford and we're going to start collecting racks to put in our safe/storage room to put things on.

I wish I lived closer to you or you lived closer to me. That way I could really help you. It is hard to really help someone so far away, but I will try my best. The safe room is a great idea. If you can build it where the wall looks like a regular wall. I mean the wall wasn't added. When you put in the door, also put in two brackets in the inside that you can put a 2x4 across. They have the brackets at Lowes. That way, once you are in the room, you put the 2x4 in place and whoever tries to get in will have a hell of a time. Now to the weapon situtation. Like I told you , I was in Law Enforcement for over 20yrs. We carried revolvers for a long time but went to semi-auto for alot of reasons. One reason was that semi-autos were more reliable. There are quite a few more reasons, but that was our main reason. As far as cocking, almost all revolvers are double action and alot of the new semi-autos are double-single. Which means you don't have to cock it at all. You will have a little harder first pull and after that the weapon cocks itself and all you have to do is a slight pull for all remaining rounds. And the thing about a 9mm. not having stopping power, well I have been to alot of autopsies where the person was shot with a 9mm. The magic word there was AUTOPSY. That means they were DEAD. If you use Hollow Point ammo, you will stop them. A 357 is too big for you. Like I told you before, my 13 yr old daughter uses a 9mm and handles it very well. My .45 auto is a little big for her, but the 9mm is perfect. I know you are getting all kind of advise, But try to head the people that have experience. Get back to you later. Good Luck Sweetie