I think we've touched on a couple good points, and ARMY127 has some solid advice. I've been a competitive shooter, gunsmith, and an instructor for nearly my entire adult life. The revo IS king for new shooters and lots of others, like those who don't like or want to practice but understand the firearm is a tool. They're good for weak(Literally) people if you fit the caliber to them. They're good for disabled shooters or people with arthritis.
357 MAGNUM..... Just hear that...... MAGNUM.... You can fire 38s out of it, but CLEAN YOUR CHAMBERS in the cylinder. If you shoot much you absolutely can get a ring of build-up that will cause pressure problems. This is NOT a myth.
22 or a 38 is better than nothing... Take that for what it's worth. My wife is 4'11. She is as small as the good Lord has made 'em, but just as willing and able because she understands that women aren't LESSER people, but DIFFERENT people. She has learned to use the differences in her body to master our guns from a shotgun to an AR-15 to a 1911 and of course our 9mm GLOCKs.. She is dedicated though. Even if you're not, you can get proficient. Dry-fire practice is a good idea that will help your skill without breaking the bank(So will practicing with an air gun!) Don't buy a gun because it's cheap. Don't buy a gun based solely on it's caliber, either. Find something that fits you, is within your abilities or what abilities you will have in the near future. Anyone can "Grow" into a Desert Eagle 5oAE, but it's not wise. Find a gun that is low maintenance, like a revolver, or some of the semi-autos that are easier to take down and clean. GLOCKs, 1911s, Browning Hi Powers are great guns, but those aren't all that's out there, of course. Ask the dealer to show you how to "Field strip" the gun, or look on youtube so you can know how to do it. Most revolvers don't need to be field stripped to clean unlike semi-sutos.
Lastly and perhaps most importantly, DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR PARTNER. Understand that almost ALL of us have SO's that aren't into prepping at first. One of the members of a family starts it out and other members come along as they go. You may have to take point and be a leader if TSHTF, but you will prepare yourself for that, too. I can assure you, especially being that you are in IL, that your husband is an ASSET, not a LIABILITY. You and a son running from who knows what is not a really good idea. The more adults you can have in your party that you trust, the better. This man has been close to you for some time. Trust me on this, please. He may think it's unnecessary, but that's because it hasn't happened yet. If something bad comes along, he is going to want the best for your whole family. Only you would know otherwise, really. If you DO know otherwise, take action as soon as possible, because that IS a liability if someone would sacrifice you and your boy to the hounds. I doubt that's the case though or you wouldn't be as concerned as you are. This being the case, follow your heart. Keep prepping, save up and get yourself a gun and some ammo AND SOME TRAINING. Keep working and thinking of how you're going to take control when SHTF. Good luck and God bless your whole family.