Cedric the Norseman

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Silent Earth

A True Doomsday Prepper
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CEDRIC 1 & 2 & 3

(1)

The Norsemans dragon head long ship crashes onto the beach in Saxon England, Cedric the Viking leaps onto the beach waving his battle axe over his head and screams

“ Wape the men, kill the Women, Wape the men, kill the women”

One of his fellow Norse says “Hey Cedric don’t you mean Rape the women and Kill the men? “

Cedric stops his beserker charge up the beach, turns to his colleague, pouts and says

“Wotan you do it your way and I’ll do it mine”


(2)

The long ship fights the outgoing tide of the river Tyne, finally it reaches its destination and Wotan the chief of the Norse stands on the prow and shouts “Spare no Saxon dog, loot the churches, rape the women, burn the villages”

Suddenly from the back of the boat Cedric shouts out “ Kill, Loot, Wape and burn !!!! I have just rowed 300 bwoody miles across the North sea, I’m knackered, my axe has gone rusty, my hair is a mess, I’m not waping or burning anything until I have had a nap!!”


(3)

Cedric has been sent on a recce mission to the monastery on Holy Island to see how the defences of the Saxons lay. Four hours later he comes back to the Norse camp walks up to Wotan the Chieftain and says

“Wotan we weally don’t want to twy attacking these Cwistian Saxons they are far harder than us. They answer to some leader called Christ but they even have him nailed up onto a Cwoss, imagine what they would do to us? “
 

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