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I haven't shopped for myself in so long I forgot what they call things, I tell the Wife I'm going to welco... before I can finish she says 'have you checked the closet' and I go check and it's magically their. Sometimes she spooky, but when I tell her I'm going to the bank but instead of her telling me to check under the mattress she lets out a stern voice 'WHAT FOR' now I want to burn her at the stake.
 
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I haven't shopped for myself in so long I forgot what they call things, I tell the Wife I'm going to welco... before I can finish she says 'have you checked the closet' and I go check and it's magically their. Sometimes she spooky, but when I tell her I'm going to the bank but instead of her telling me to check under the mattress she lets out a stern voice 'WHAT FOR' now I want to burn her at the stake.
happy-marriages-1.jpg
 
So I was at the store earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about $200 worth of toilet paper in her shopping cart. With an attitude she asked me what type of dog I had. I told her it was my service dog. Then she got real snarky and said, I knew that. What type of service? I said he was a BLD. By now he was licking her face and hands being super friendly. She said, what is a BLD? I told her it stood for Butt Licking Dog. She said Butt Licking Dog? I said yeah, he has been trained to lick my butt clean because I can't seem to be able to find toilet paper because of hoarders. The cashier completely lost it

copied from another page..
 
Excellent Jon.
Another one you and all...
I was at the store and happened to buy some little doggie bones for my pet. When she is good and does something really nice, they are little rewards...
The lady behind me asked if I had a dog.....duh.
I said no...she asked why I was buying doggie bones....duh. I said it was for myself and I was following a new diet from Hollywood...She asked if I was really eating them myself....duh. I answered: OF COURSE. She then asked if there were any side-effects from the new diet...duh.
Grinning, I said, yes. She asked if I would tell her of the side effects...duh. I said that I was hit by a car in the middle of the street as I was licking my balls......................duuuuuuhhhhhhhh........:p:p:p:p:p:p
 
8:00 Built a snowman with the grandkids
8:10 The first emanze passing by complains it is not a snow-woman
8:30 Built a snowwoman next to the snowman
8:40 The teacher from kindergarden complains the snowwoman shows small breasts
8:50 The gay neighbor complains there should be 2 snowmen
8:55 The vegan lady next door complains of the waste of food (carrot nose)
9:00 I get called a racist, the snowman is white
9:06 Fatima from around the corner demands a scarf for the snowwomans head
9:10 The cops show up to watch the scene develope
9:20 The SWAT shows up since the broomhandle could be a dangerous weapon
9:35 The IS claims to have built the snowman on the internet
9:40 my cellphone is confiscated and will be checked out by the FBI and CIA
9:45 The cops come back and fine me $ 1000.00 since the snow people are not wearing masks and not keeping the correct social distance
THAT WAS THE LAST SNOWMAN IN 2020!!!!!!!!!!!
:p:p:rolleyes::rolleyes::m4:
 
8:00 Built a snowman with the grandkids
8:10 The first emanze passing by complains it is not a snow-woman
8:30 Built a snowwoman next to the snowman
8:40 The teacher from kindergarden complains the snowwoman shows small breasts
8:50 The gay neighbor complains there should be 2 snowmen
8:55 The vegan lady next door complains of the waste of food (carrot nose)
9:00 I get called a racist, the snowman is white
9:06 Fatima from around the corner demands a scarf for the snowwomans head
9:10 The cops show up to watch the scene develope
9:20 The SWAT shows up since the broomhandle could be a dangerous weapon
9:35 The IS claims to have built the snowman on the internet
9:40 my cellphone is confiscated and will be checked out by the FBI and CIA
9:45 The cops come back and fine me $ 1000.00 since the snow people are not wearing masks and not keeping the correct social distance
THAT WAS THE LAST SNOWMAN IN 2020!!!!!!!!!!!
:p:p:rolleyes::rolleyes::m4:

Any other year that would seem far-fetched. LOL
 

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